im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
