I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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