I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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