I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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