Your dad touched me again.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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