Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
