shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
