im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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