That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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