haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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