Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You ruined the universe
Your penis caused this!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
