let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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