let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize