my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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