Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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