just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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