You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
