My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
