i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize