it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
