If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
