i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
