The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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