when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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