Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think your dad took our porno
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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