fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
