I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
