To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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