The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
