So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
