sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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