I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The best revenge is premature balding
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
