peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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