Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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