dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I checked into jail on foursquare
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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