I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
