I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
