I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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