..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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