I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
