Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
