last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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