Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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