Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
