Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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