if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize