GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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