This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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