Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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