Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
