it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
