Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
