i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
