i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
