It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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