I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
not ubering you a puppy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
