I wish I could teleport
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Houston, we have a squirter
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
