16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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