You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
