well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
