I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
