shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
