It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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