Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
