I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
did you just send me my own nude
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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