I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
