well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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