do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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