Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
