Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
