So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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