I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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